HeY! hErE's ThE sCoOp!
The following article is from “Connect” at http://www.planetwisdom.org/
"Hey," she said as she looked around to be sure nobody overheard. "Let me tell you something I just heard about Susan." That kind of statement always brings trouble. Maybe not immediately, but sooner or later the sparks will fly. Gossiping causes big problems in relationships.
The motive of gossiping is revenge. Yes, that's right. The reason we do it is to hurt another person we don't like or to have power over others by using information as a weapon. When we don't have enough courage or integrity to speak out to the person we're angry with, we use this passive-aggressive way to punish them. We go behind their backs and talk. And we usually don't just tell something we know; we embellish it so it makes that person look a little more foolish, stupid, and hateful. And we do all this with a twinkle in our eyes, because it's fun!
The Proverbs have a lot to say about gossips:
- Proverbs 11:13 says "a gossip betrays a confidence." Often, a friend tells us something for our ears only, but we know we can use it to make points with somebody else, so we betray that person. It's not much different than Judas getting 30 pieces of silver for betraying Jesus.
- Proverbs 16:28 says "a gossip separates close friends." This can be taken two ways: the gossips' goal is to make the person he's talking to think less of the person he's talking about, but also, when we gossip, sooner or later people realize we aren't trustworthy, so they back off from us. Either way, friendships are hurt.
- Proverbs 18:8 says, "The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts." There is a sensuous seductiveness in gossiping. The words are like the best food you've ever tasted. It may be bad for you, but it tastes so good!
- Proverbs 26:20 says "without a gossip a quarrel dies down." Gossips have power, and they use that power to keep people angry at each other. They destroy confidence and trust, and the delight in making themselves the center of controversy because they are the ones who say what truth is.
I'm afraid we have gotten too used to gossiping, so we aren't on guard against it like we should be. We hear people telling juicy stories about others at school, at work, at home, and sadly, at church. Here's the solution:
- Don't do it. Just quit. That's right, when you find yourself wanting to have the power to tell what you know about somebody, just shut up. And talk about something else.
- Don't listen to it. If a friend wants to tell you something about somebody else, stop him. Say, "I really don't want to hear it. Let's talk about something else." When we walk with God, when we walk in righteousness, we are, as Peter called us, "peculiar people." People who love to gossip will think you and I are really peculiar if we don't listen to them talk about others in negative ways!
Paul believed gossiping was a genuine sin. He put it in a list of destructive sins in his second letter to the Corinthians. And he instructed the Ephesians, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" (Eph 4:29).
Gossiping may be fun, but it is evil. We need to see it as God sees it, and if we need to, repent. Replace those words with positive, encouraging words that help people instead of hurting them. And remember, you reap what you sow.
