The Future, or Something like It....
Chrissy and I went to dinner on Tuesday night. We had a great time catching up and talking about college. As I looked at this beautiful young woman sitting across from me, it was hard to believe that just 6 short years ago she was entering the Youth Group. Where has the time gone? Even more sobering was a recent mail announcement of Sarah Jones' graduation from UCLA. Wow. Time marches on...waits for no one...and is the one thing we falsely believe we have so much of and never get back once it's gone. Sigh.
Just a few years ago, in 1981 I graduated from High School. At that particular time in my life I, like so many seniors, thought I had the tiger by the tail. I knew so much! I heartily laugh now at my 18 year old self. If only I could teleport back in time and have a little heart to heart with my 18 year old, know it all, me.
What would I say? Well, for starters, I'd make myself read the following article.
Until.
I.
Could.
Repeat.
It.
From.
Memory.
Then, I'd do whatever it took to wake myself up to the life I was living apart from Jesus. I would point out the facts of my life up to that point. Yes, I trusted Christ as my Lord and Savior in Junior High. Yes, I attended church faithfully (which, back then was Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday Night and usually some Youth Group thing on Friday or Saturday). Eight to ten hours of every week was devoted to faithful attendance at church. I was even plugged in to children's ministry...either teaching 5-6 year olds in children's church or being a bus captain on the church bus Mr. Pearson drove. (As an aside, can you believe Calvary used to have 4 [four] 66-passenger school buses bringing kids to church? It was called the bus ministry. And, twice a month, on a Saturday morning, we used to walk around neighborhoods and invite kids to ride the bus to church!).
Yup, I was very active in church. Back then, we had something called Word of Life Clubs, which was a format for our Youth Group, kind of like AWANA, but for teenagers. Each week, we had to show our devotional journals to an adult leader and recite the key verse for the week. Every day, I was supposed to be in the Word doing my Quiet Time. Every day! Guess when I did my Quiet Time journal – on Wednesdays, after school, 5 or 6 hours before Youth Group. Shocking, I know. I'm sure I was the only one who procrastinated.
With all this churchy activity, you'd think I was this Super Christian! At times, I even convinced myself I was doing a great job and was doing okay.
What was missing was fellowship with Jesus. I was so lacking in this area that I was ripe for love of any kind to easily distract me away from church, Youth Group and, most importantly, a relationship with Jesus. And, that is exactly what happened. We met at the beginning of my senior year. And, we dated until I went off to college a year & a half after I graduated from High School.
Like me, he was a Christian, and, like me, was more in love with everything else, but Jesus. As long as we made it to church, we thought we were doing okay. But we weren't. I pretty much dropped out of Youth Group my senior year. I did make it to one last Winter Camp (with the boyfriend)...but by the time summer came, I was working, dating and didn't have time for much else. God wasn't a priority in my life.
Things turned serious when he gave me a promise ring. Do they do that nowadays? What's a promise ring? Well, it's a promise to show intent toward getting engaged and eventually married. I was only 18 years old. I was only old enough to vote and be treated as a legal adult.
This is the moment I think I would've teleported back to myself. I would nurse that nugget of doubt taking up residence in the far recesses of my heart. I would encourage me to be honest with a trusted Godly adult. I would tell me not to care what the world thinks and to care deeply about what God thinks. I would tell myself that I have so much future to look forward to and that this moment was so small and meaningless compared to all the awesome plans God had in store for me.
I would tell myself to make a big deal out of my relationship with Jesus, nothing else.
I thought everyone believed the lie that we were meant to be together and get married. Thankfully, my parents didn't nag, push or try to dissuade me from this relationship. Instead, they provided hope and encouragement for me to consider going away to college. ANY college. A gal I admired in my church had graduated from this little known Christian college in San Diego. And, the summer after graduation, my cousin Missy took me on a trip to see an old friend of hers and visit this college. I don't think I ever thanked her for doing that. But it had a huge impact on me and God used that trip to open my eyes to what was going on in my life. I needed to break up with my boyfriend. I didn't have the courage or the willpower to do so on my own. College was my passive way of breaking off the relationship with this guy.
College became a mechanism to rescue me from a bad relationship. And, it worked. I went off to college without much clue as to who I was or what I wanted to become. Again, I would've told myself to enjoy the journey and focus on Jesus. Trust Him with my plans, my major and my future. Trust me not at all, and trust God completely.
To those graduating in our Youth Group: congratulations! I hope you'll read the following article. To those of you yet to graduate: congratulations! I hope you'll also read the following article.
Advice For Picking A College Major—Take A Chill Pill!
From: http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=1799
The Future posted by Lindsey Wagstaffe on 05/29/12
You've graduated. You're going to go to college—drumroll please—and now the pressure skyrockets to know what to do with the rest of your life. If you're like I was, you're pulling out your hair, spending hours in introspection, your ten-year-plan changes every two and a half days, and you've toyed with everything from astrophysics to zoology.
I've taken online college classes from three different schools, lived on campus at one, attended campus from home at another, and changed my major four times. Here are three things God's taught me about decision making over the past few years, in the midst of all that change.
God has already given you His will.
If I could time travel to drop a hint to my freshman self, I'd jab myself (gently) in the ribs and say, "Hey lady, take a chill pill—this college stuff isn't half as big as you think it is." Then I'd give myself a Jamba Juice and crack open the Bible. God's Word has all we need for life and godliness. He doesn't spell out the big life-decisions we're dying to know about, but His precise moral will is spelled out for us. Here's a little homework—Philippians 4:4–9 is a great place to begin renewing your mind with that truth.
You change as you go. Changing your mind is okay.
I used to have this sinking feeling that choosing my college and major was the educational equivalent of announcing engagement to some guy I'd never met before—total commitment ... and I'd live with the consequences forever. As it turns out, picking a field of study is more like dating than engagement, and your major(s) aren't even disappointed when you dump 'em for something that fits better! Don't feel pressured to figure out your future freshman year. You may not even end up in a job directly related to your major.
What do you enjoy learning about? What topics matter most to you? What kind of things do you bring up repeatedly in conversation with friends? What are your strengths and your weaknesses? Is there a need you see in the world that you can't get out of your mind? Where can your passions and abilities intersect with that need? These kinds of questions have helped guide and shape my desires.
The options are endless, and God is glorified in every legitimate vocation—so choose something that sounds interesting and give it a whirl. Talk to people who are graduating with that major. Talk to professionals in the field. Learn the pros and cons of the occupation. Talk to your academic advisor. Talk to the mentors who know you best. Ask your parents for their insights about your areas of giftedness and passion. Make lists. I was greatly helped by Alex Chediak's book Thriving in College. I highly, highly recommend it to all college students. He's also written stellar articles like this one and this one about college and vocation choices. If you appreciate the articles, you'll want to buy the book.
Career decisions cannot save you.
Fear reveals where your heart is. My decision paralysis showed me that I was banking hope for a satisfied life in my educational prospects. I was afraid of choosing a path that would lead me into "dissatisfaction" or "unhappiness." A satisfied life is found in fellowship with Jesus, not in circumstances—either present or future. If you seek ultimate contentment and joy in any career path, disappointment is a guarantee. If you seek fulfillment and joy in Jesus, you will find it.
Questions for current undergrads and grads:
- What decision-making lessons has God been teaching you?
- How would you counsel yourself if you could go back to freshman year?
- How did you choose your major?
--
Mary E.Hickcox
www.CalvaryBaptistSM.org
http://mary-neotes.blogspot.com/
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