No Peeking, Just Wait!

When I was a little girl, I had a tough time with surprises.  I didn't want to wait and was terribly curious, sneaky and quite devious (at times).

 

I believe I was either 6 or 7, when one Christmas I "asked Santa" for a watch (what is it with me and watches?).  As Christmas approached, my parents would begin to place wrapped presents under our metallic Christmas tree.  (Why I didn't question the wrapped gifts showing up before the hallowed time Santa was supposed to "drop in" and shower us with gifts is really beside the point of my story.)

 

One Saturday out of the month, my parents would go to the military base to load up our '71 VW Van with groceries.  This particular Saturday, I suppose my parents thought my sister was old enough to watch me and we didn't have to go with them (yeah!).  Or, now that I think about it, perhaps they had more Christmas shopping to do and didn't want us tagging along. Hmmm...

 

As soon as my parents pulled out of the driveway, I ran to the living room and began assessing the wrapped packages.  I was mostly interested in wrapped gifts that were possibly the size of a watch box.  Making sure my sister was preoccupied with something elses, I began to pick up, feel about and shake all the wrapped presents.  First, it began with just the small ones.  Then, I couldn't stop myself.  I was touching all of them!

 

Then, I noticed one wrapped gift had an untapped end of paper.  The tape had come loose and it was oh so easy to lift the flap and peek under the wrapping!  It didn't matter that my name wasn't on the gift tag...it was the curiosity of what was underneath that compelled me on.  I don't recall what it was, but I did discover that the metallic-like wrapping paper made it uber easy to gingerly lift off the tape and see what treasure was hidden beneath the paper.

 

This was all I needed.  In really no time at all, I had found all the gifts with my name on them.  And, I unwrapped each and every one of them.  Then, I rewrapped them.  And, Yes, I found the watch!

 

Either my sister saw me and ratted me out; or, the heavy burden of guilt prompted me to confess.  I don't recall.  But I do remember my dad finding out and taking away all my gifts.  I had nothing to open on Christmas day.  Eventually, my dad did give me all my presents.

 

But you know, I'd already opened them...the joy of anticipation and shared excitement with my family was lost.  In my sneaky, curious, lack of self-control, I did the unthinkable and robbed myself of a shared moment with my loved ones.  I never did that again!

 

Many of you think this is kind of a cute story.  And, you reason, I was an immature, curious child. 

 

And yet, when it comes to dating, getting physical and sex, this is what many of you do.  You are a beautifully gift-wrapped present God has planned and saved for your future spouse. 

 

Whomever you are dating is also someone else's beautifully gift-wrapped present, which you have no business unwrapping...not even peeking!

 

That is what today's devotion from LYWB is about.

From: http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=684

How far is too far?

Guys posted by Erin Davis on 03/08/11

 

I know this group of readers well enough to know that you value purity. You get that God asks you to save sex until your wedding day, but if you're in a dating relationship, you realize sex isn't the only line to consider.

 

Some of you have decided not to kiss until marriage. Others think kissing is okay. Some of you have said you will only hold hands. Others choose a different line. Some of you have realized you've gone too far physically only after the damage has been done. That's why I think it's wise to know how far you're willing to go long before you ever have the opportunity to act. But ... how far is too far?

 

Consider these principles checkpoints on the path to purity. If the level of your physical activity in your dating relationship allows you to stick to these principles, you have strong boundaries in place. If the level of physical contact in your relationship violates even one of these principles, you've probably gone too far.

 

Whatever

Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."

 

The question you should be asking is not "How far can we go without getting into trouble?" but "What can we do to think about things that are pure and honorable?"

 

Can you hold hands and think thoughts that are pure and honorable? Can you hug and think pure thoughts? What about kissing? Making out? Sexual touching? Clearly there is a point when your actions will cause your thoughts to shift away from what is pure and honorable and true and toward a desire for increased sexual contact. Don't decide where your line is after your thoughts have switched to the impure. Decide ahead of time how far you think you can go and still keep your thoughts fixed on the things of God. This is a great standard to discuss with your parents and or youth pastor or trusted adult.

 

Not Even a Hint

Ephesians 5:3 says, "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people" (NIV).

God's Word doesn't suggest that we get as close to the line of sexual sin as possible; quite the opposite. This passage tells us not to even hint at sexual sin.

 

Are you hinting at sexual sin when you spend hours passionately kissing on your boyfriend's couch? Are you hinting at sexual sin when you hold each other for prolonged periods, leaving each other wanting more and more physical contact? If you are hinting at sex, you're going too far.

 

Don't Light the Fire

If purity is your goal, make a commitment to never cause another person to want to go all the way. At all times consider whether your actions might cause your boyfriend to want to become more physically involved. That includes what you see on dates (movies, videos, TV shows), what you do when you're together, how you relate to each other, how you touch ... everything you do!

 

Don't ignite a fire of passion in your partner with the way that you behave. It might seem easier if God drew a hard line in the sand and said, "Do not go past this point while you're dating," but I am not convinced that would keep us in check. If God drew an exact line dividing acceptable physical contact from the unacceptable, we would race right to that line and then push it "just a little bit" further. It is our human nature to sin and to push back against authority. If the Bible gave us a bunch of rules, we would find a way around those rules. In His wisdom, God didn't just list a bunch of rules for physical behavior before marriage in His Word. He did something better by giving us principles in His Word that we can apply to our relationships.

 

I can't tell you exactly how far is too far, but I can encourage you to start asking different questions. Start with these three:

1. Are my thoughts pure when I have physical contact with my boyfriend?
2. Does the level of our physical contact hint at sex?
3. How much can I save for my future spouse?

--
Mary E.Hickcox
www.CalvaryBaptistSM.org
http://mary-neotes.blogspot.com/