"The happiness now is worth the tears later."
-C.S. Lewis (played by Anthony Hopkins in the movie "Shadowlands")
As we've been learning this week, there is a time for everything, even crying.
For me, I used to have a really hard time crying in front of people and showing extreme emotions (and sometimes still do...depending on the crowd of people I'm with). It wasn't so much that I was embarassed to cry in front of people as it was the losing control part and really crying...hard....the kind of crying where my faces scrunches up, turns red and I begin to wail, loudly.
I think going through the process of losing my mom has helped me not care about crying. This year has certainly been a season of crying for me....and for my dad...and for my family, etc. I don't think the season is over, by any stretch of the imagination. But, in the midst of the crying season, there has been joy too. Sometimes laughter. Sometimes long periods of time where there is no crying at all.
I recall learning that crying is the body's way of releasing stress. Laughter does that too. I know after I've cried hard, for a while, I am exhausted afterwards. The same is true for laughter....hearty, can't stop laughing, uncontrollable giggles erupting into all out guffaws.
All this to say, it is normal and okay to be sad. To cry. To laugh. It is a process we all go through from time to time. Some of you (Sara) have a way of even doing the happy tears thing (which, if you catch me on a cusp day...can rouse me to crying too). I am generally not a "happy tears" kinda person. If I'm happy...I'm laughing and the thought of crying is a distant memory.
God made us and declared the creation of us "good." He made us with the ability to laugh and cry. I do find it interesting it is recorded in the New Testament that Jesus cried just before raising Lazarus from the dead. My dad and I talked about that the other day. It was a comforting reminder to him (and it made him cry).
If you find you are not in a season of crying, but your friend is...be a comfort to them. During the month-long vigil kept with my mom, many came to sit with us and offer words of encouragement. There were moments of fond memories, laughter and comfort. However, I was always comforted when my best friend, Debbie, came and sat with me. She would hug me gently, squeeze my hand and often sit silently with me. It was her quiet, calming presence that lightened the burden of the passing of time.
Sometimes our friends just need us to be physically there with them. Not full of platitudes or "tried and true" Christian speak. Sometimes they just need our comforting silence, gentle hugs and hand squeezes. And, if you are not sure, ask.
So, cry if you need to. Remember what David says in Psalms 30:5b "Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning."
Whatever season you find yourself in, may the comfort and joy of knowing the Lord Jesus Christ carry you through.
| Telling Time: The Crying Season Posted: 30 Dec 2009 08:00 AM PST "There is a time for everything . . . a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance." (Ecclesiastes 3:1,4) We're working this New Year's week on learning to recognize the seasons God has lead us into -- so we can live wisely during those seasons. Nobody wants to live in a season of crying or mourning. Usually, that means something bad has happened -- we lost the big game or got betrayed by a friend or watched a loved one die. But that season matters. In fact, Ecclesiastes 7 tells us it's better to go to a funeral than a party because it reminds us again that this life isn't permanent -- and we'd better get ready for the one that is. Many of us just try to go numb during the crying seasons and hope it goes away quickly. But that's a waste of the season God has lead us into. Instead, He wants us to turn to Him for comfort and learn from Him how to comfort others during their sad times. (See 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.) The season for laughing and dancing will return. It always does, thank God! But it will be much, much sweeter if we have made the most of the crying season by using it to learn how comforting the arms of our Father can be. Think: How can a person turn to God for comfort during a season of sadness? Have you ever been comforted by God through another person who has experienced the same kind of loss you are going through? Pray: Ask God to help you to turn to Him for comfort during seasons of sadness and to include Him in your times of laughing and dancing. Do: Read Romans 12:15 and think about what you can do to participate with others in their sad and happy seasons.  |
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Mary E.Hickcox
www.CalvaryBaptistSM.org http://mary-neotes.blogspot.com/
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